Thursday, August 31, 2006

Today's word "multa"

"multa"= fine
I do feel a little bad about yesterdays post. Since I know PGN is not just a lottery. They are doing work, they are reviewing cases, conducting interviews, and I'm sure most people who work there try to do the best job possible. Especially after the stellar month PGN has had, so many cases have come out, particularly long overdue cases. I'm just so tangled up in this wait that sometimes I can't see straight. In all reality I know that it is selfish of me to be agonizing over this wait. I know that Olivia is fine "Multa". She is being well cared for. Her foster mom is probably better at taking care of her than I can. Liv has no idea, she just worries about being fed, getting her diaper changed, and sleeping. She doesn't even remember me at this point. So it's all me, and the selfish part of me wants her home.
While I was driving today I heard this song and it seems really appropriate for what's going on right now.

Far Away Lyrics - All The Right Reasons :.

This time, This placeMisused
MistakesToo long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chanceJust one breath
Just in case theres just one left
Cause you know, you know, you know That I love you
I have loved you all alongAnd I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming youll be with me and youll never go
Stop breathing if I dont see you anymore
On my knees, Ill ask
Cause with you, Id withstandAll of hell to hold your hand
Id give it allId give for us
Give anything but I wont give up
Cause you know, you know, you know That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss youBeen far away for far too long
I keep dreaming youll be with me and youll never go
Stop breathing if I dont see you anymore
So far awayBeen far away for far too long
So far awayBeen far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know I wantedI wanted to stay
Cause I neededI need to hear you sayThat I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive me
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing Cause Im not leaving
Hold on to me and never let me go

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Today's word "ocupada"

"ocupada" = occupied

"Look Olivia someone is sitting in your highchair, don't you want to come home and use it." Yea that will work to get her home faster.

Here is a picture of Emily, My friend Chris's daughter, one of the many playmates waiting for Olivia to come home. Chris and Emily have been helping me to stay "Ocupada" these last few weeks. Thanks girls!!!!!!!!!!

Today I can't get on any of the forums so I am feeling a little disconnected. I finally figured out an analogy for what this PGN wait is like. Imagine something you want more than anything, Imagine you've waited your whole life for it, and you've tried to get it for the last 2 years. Finally someone says OK you can have it. But first we are going to put your name and # on a ping pong ball, now we are going to put your ball in one of those spinning bingo cages. There are 400 other balls in that cage and were just going to keep spinning the cage and drawing out balls. Some days will draw out 10 balls, other days maybe 20, some days no balls will come out. Oh and here is the catch we'll also be adding in more balls everyday. Good luck, and we'll call you when your ball comes up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is this wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Wednesday

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Today's word "finalmente"

"finalmente"= finally!!!!!!!!!!!

As in finally Holly G is out of PGN. She has spent 123 day in PGN and 78 days fostering her daughter down in Guatemala. We got to hang out in Guatemala with Holly and Gia on our visit trip. Holly is also from our town, and she is friends with one of Vinay's cousins. Talk about 6 degrees of separation.
We are so happy that they can finally come home. All of NJ is celebrating tonight.

Congratulations Holly and Gia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Today's word "compra"

"compra" = shopping

Today was filled with shopping, or as I am calling it retail therapy. First I started the day shopping for carpet for Liv's room. We have finally decided on carpet and we hope they can come and finish by the end of the week.

Then I went to target to see if I could find more of these gaucho pants that I love and am wearing out. After searching rack after rack, I couldn't find them. The only ones they had were Liz Lang, yes maternity. I carried them around for awhile, and decided to buy them. If I'm nesting then why can't I wear maternity pants, at least just around the house.

I also picked up a few things for Olivia. A couple of long sleeve onsies, and some pants. I really don't have many clothes for when she comes home so I started stocking up on more fall type clothes. I just hope she comes home soon so I don't have to return them.

I did get an update on her weight from her August DR appt.
On August 10 she was
Weight: 11 lb. 2 oz.
Length: 56 cm
Head Cir: 40 cm

Friday, August 25, 2006

Today's word is "siete"

"siete" = seven
Well lucky number seven, I hope. This week marks 7 weeks in PGN. There is still no word. My agency said that they inquired about my case and all PGN said was no word on the case.
So this week I was really doing OK, eventhough Vinay was away. I was really trying to keep myself busy, and I was doing really good until last night. When I had a bad headache and thought I had meningitis. Of course I didn't, just one of my freak out sessions. But I'm better today. This waiting is like a roller coaster. One day your up the next your a wreck. Come on lucky number seven!!!!!!!!!!!!

This picture looks like she really is waiting for me to pick her up. I'm coming Liv!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Today's word "casero"

"casero"= home
Today I was trying to put Olivia's room back in order. I was hanging the curtains and putting the switchplates back on the walls, and I was thinking this is what makes a house a home. The fact that it took me 2 hours to hang the curtains, amid the numerous holes in the walls, and the choice words I had for the power tools, I still loved doing it. I love that when she wakes up and looks out the window, it will be my curtains that frame the window. I, only this week, started to imagine her in the room. I find some comfort thinking that even if we don't get the call this week, or next. The day still will come when she is asleep in that room and she will finally be home.
Boy am I mentally stable or what this week!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Today's word is "prometer"

"prometer" = promise
Instead of me just complaining about PGN, I thought I would write down a few promises to Olivia for the future.
I promise to let you wear your hair however you want. Even if it's pink and spiked.
I promise to let you try out for the football team, even if I want you to take ballet.
I promise to kiss you good night everynight.
I promise to keep all your secrets. I won't even tell Daddy.
I promise to let you go out of state for college, even if the thought of it makes me cry now when it's 18 years away.
I promise to be involved in your school, but not too involved.
I promise to let you dream as big and as wild as you can. I will always be there to cheer you on.
I promise to love you forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Today's word "martes"

"martes" = Tuesday
Well this week I'm not only missing Olivia but also Vinay. Lucky him he is in LA working and I am left here to wait. But I had some things to take care of so I couldn't join him.
The rooms are finally all painted, and today I went to look at carpet. So hopefully by next week her room will be all done and I can start decorating!!!!!!!!!

I spoke to my case worker yesterday. I had some questions, so I called her. I was wondering if my case would have been issued a previo, would it have happened by now. She said not necessarily. Because Mr. PGN can also issue a previo. She said what might be going on is that my case is just sitting somewhere. Boy do I wish those papers had a GPS tracking device on them. She did say that everyday my lawyers rep goes to the PGN office and asks if any of her cases are out. It's nice to know that everyday someone is checking.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Todays word "familia"

Today's word and post is about Olivia's foster family, or foster "familia". I had some questions about Olivia's foster mother and sent them to the agency. Remember before we got our referral our lawyer's terms were that we not meet the foster mother. The lawyer is very protective of them and we agreed to this from the beginning. However lately I've been thinking alot about who Liv is spending these first few months of her life with. Here is what I asked and found out.
How old is the foster mom? About 50
Does she have any children? Yes 1 daughter who is 27
Who lives in the house? Foster Mom, her mother, foster mom's brother, her daughter, and a neice who spends her days at home. That is who is holding Liv in this picture. They live in a house, and the foster mom has been doing this for 10 years. I am happy to have this information, and Liv looks content in this enviornment. I'm glad that I now know a little about where she is. I'm sure they all love her and I'm sure she get's tons of attention. What a shock it will be for her to go from living in a house with all those people to just me and Vinay. No wonder she liked all the noise by the pool.
Look at all the hair she has now. She is wearing the same shirt as last months pictures, but different pants. I can't wait to take her shopping she needs clothes!!!!!!!
I love this picture. Here she is doing a Donald Trump impression. " Your fired" Posted by Picasa

Friday, August 18, 2006

Today's word "seises"

"seises" = six
Yes that six weeks in PGN. The forums had about 9 outs this week, and my agency had a few.
I myself had a few close calls.
Yesterday the phone rang and I looked on the caller ID, it said Ohio. Now my case worker is from Ohio, although I did not recognize that as her #, still is this her calling on another line. Suddenly I didn't want to pick up, what if it's a previo, but what if were out. Finally after about 4 rings I picked it up. Who was on the other end? A telemarketer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All that stress for nothing.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Today word is "perro "

"Perro"= dog
I had a really cute picture of Parker to post but blooger would not let me post the picture. It is of him in a princess crown that my Mom bought for Olivia. I had to bribe him to keep it on long enough to take the picture. That dog cracks me up. He is always happy to see us even in the am when he is tired. If you are crying he will come and lick your tears, and he loves to cuddle. But I worry about him when Liv comes home. He has been the baby for so long, and now he will have to share the spotlight. I just hope he behaves around her. Vinay says I have to let him check her out even if it means licking her. EEEEWWWWWW.
There was some movement in PGN today. I saw a few outs, even one from my agency who went in the same day as us. That took my breath away. I know that there are so many people who went in before me who need to get out and I do pray for them, but the selfish part of me is hoping to get the call. Why can't we just all get out. Problem in PGN solved, everyone gets out and all the babies get to come home. There that was easy. Maybe Mr PGN needs a consultant. I should apply. So for now there is nothing to do but wait. So I wait and eat a bag of cheetos.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Today's word is "pájaro"

"pÃjaro" = bird
I finally started nesting. It just started today. I cleaned out 2 closets, wiped down the entire kitchen,vacuumedd the house, even using the attachments. Then I painted the wood letters for her room, finished her scrapbook and finally finished the rest of my thank yous!!!!!!!!!

On the forums we were expecting to see so many outs today, and there were barely any. I did see one that got out and the date they entered was the same day as ours. I just held my breath for a moment, and then tried to remember that there is no rhyme or reason to PGN. He might be signing off on cases that entered around my date, but that might not mean we come out. Mr PGN himself can issue a previo, or the case can sit on his desk for months. One never knows.
Remember adoption is like a pregnancy with no due date.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Today's word "ayuda"

Ayuda = Help
Help I'm getting impatient. This is the first week I'm feeling really anxious about our wait. Last night I had the hardest time getting to sleep. I finally got out of bed at 2 to get some warm milk, my grandma's cure for insomnia. Vinay came down and asked what's wrong. I said I just miss her so much tonight. I know everyday we're getting closer to having her forever. But I'm just not good at waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good news the painter is coming Monday and should be done in one day. I could have painted her room and playroom 20 times over by now, but I'm glad it's getting done. Hopefully the carpet will go down next week also. Her crib is sitting in the babies R us warehouse waiting for this room to be done. I'm waiting to put all her stuff away. Her swing is waiting to be put together (Vinay). All this waiting Ayuda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Today's word "nada"

"Nada" = nothing
As in that's the news we've had lately on our PGN stay. I keep wondering is no news good news? My agency thinks that kick outs, having to redo a document, are not that bad, because at least someone has looked at your case.
To date we have had no kick outs so I guess that's good. According to the forums PGN is closed today and tomorrow for the Feast of the Assumption. So I am expecting no movement until maybe the end of the week. And then I really won't start hoping to hear any news for about another 2 weeks, but who knows. My agency keeps saying that there is no rhyme or reason as to why or when people get out so all we can do is pray. So goodnight my sweet Liv. I can't wait till I can put you to bed myself.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Today's word "La Playa"

I am back from my weekend at the beach "La Playa". We had a great time and allot of laughs Here is Vinay with our friends Dennis and John. This was taken at the restaurant. We waited for 1 hour and 45 min for a table, and the food wasn't even that great.
This picture was taken at the house that we stayed in. It's Vinay, me, John, Jenene, Dennis, and Sara. Thanks for the great time guys, and the great conversations, and the belly laughs.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Today's word is an easy one "feliz"

"Feliz" = happy Yesterday was a great day for Guatemalan adoptions. The forums that I read had about 20 people come out of PGN. This is big news. There have not been so many outs in one month since March. My agency had 3 outs this week. The rumor is that Mr. PGN hired a lawyer to help him sign off on cases. I try not to listen to much of the rumors but, I can hope that more cases will continue to come out. I really hope some of the older cases come out. Well today marks 5 weeks in PGN. Compared to some cases that is not long at all but I still hope to hear something soon. But all in all I am happy today that we are 5 weeks closer to getting her home. I plan to enjoy my weekend down the shore with our great friends, and maybe enjoy doing grown up things like going out for dinner and drinks. Or just laying on the beach, not chasing after my baby. Soon enough my world will revolve around sleep schedules, teething, and, dare I say it, Barney. Feliz weekend everyone.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Today's word "agradecido"

"Agradecido"= thankful
Yes after all the complaining in yesterdays blog I thought I would post all that I am thankful for.
1. Scotland Yard. They foiled the latest terror plot against the western world. They arrested 20 or so suspects and they are on top of their game. You go Tony Blair. As a wife who's husband travels all the time, I am especially thankful that they stopped these people.
2. The strong women in my life. My Mother and Vinay's Mom are the two strongest people I know. I can always count on them, and they love us unconditionally.
3. My fabulous husband, although I complain that he plays golf too much, and he hogs the remote. He is still the most wonderful man I every met. He is so supportive of every crazy idea I have. He loves the whole me even the bad selfish parts I don't let anyone see. And he will make a great father. For a guy who never changed a diaper in his life, he jumped right in an took such good care of Liv on our trip. I'm so proud of you honey!!!!!!!!
4. My precious daughter. Although we might be apart for now. I am thankful that she is healthy, safe and well taken care of. I am so lucky that God brought her into our life. Here is my favorite picture of Daddy and his girl.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Today's word "Por que`"

Today's word is "why" = "Por que`" That is what I keep asking myself today. Why does this have to take so long? Why can't Olivia just come home? Why does this have to be so hard? This week is especially difficult because we were suppose to be visiting with her all week. If we were allowed to go down. Why can't we just go when we want? I keep thinking if we were in Guatemala, we would be at the pool right now. or she would be taking her nap right now. Of course this is bad for me mentally, But it's just me whinnying. It's whinny Wednesday. My biggest whine this week is that very few cases have come out of PGN in the last week. Why Mr PGN why? Why can't you just sign? How hard is it to just put your pen to paper and just scribble your name? It's just so discouraging to see all these cases stuck. Don't you want to clear your desk. JUST SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why Mr. PGN por que`?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Today's word is "Venga"

Venga = come here
"Venga Parker, Venga Parker". That is what I was yelling to Parker who would not get out of the picture. But he's a cutie so who cares if he can't understand Spanish yet. This is what Parker has been doing since we brought my shower gifts home. He just sits and stares at all the gifts. I know there are a few stuffed animals he has his eye on. So why haven't I put all this stuff away yet. 1. I am writing out the thank yous and it's easier to just go box by box and 2. Liv's room still is not painted. I am so disorganized. I hope to finish the thank yous today and start unpacking.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Today's word "Muchas gracias eres muy amable"

Muchas Gracias eres muy amable, thank you very much you are very kind to everyone who came to my shower. Everyone was so generous, and Olivia got so many nice things. It was great to be surrounded by family and friends who already love Olivia. I wish I could post all the pictures of the great stuff I got but here is just a sample.

Vinay came at the end to help load up the car. The picture board in the back was done by my sister-in-law and Vinay's Mom. Thanks guys it came out great. The decorations in the back of us, was done by my family. Thanks Auntie, Kristin, and Marley. It looked great.
I got this great little chair from Vinay's family. I can't wait for liv to sit in it
This is me opening Olivia's own air purifier. Everyone who knows me knows that I can't sleep without mine. I even bring it with me when I'm away. It's been to Paris, California, Mexico, and yes Guatemala. Olivia went right to sleep every night I turned it on. Now she has her own.

My Aunt Pat made the favors. It was a bookmark with Olivia's picture on it and the saying "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, Regardless of time, place, or circumstance, The thread my stretch or tangle, but never break" On the back of the bookmark was a red string which we asked that everyone put on their wrist and wear it until Olivia comes home. Just a little symbol that we are all thinking of her and praying that she comes home soon.
Thanks to everyone who was there and those who were there in spirit

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Today's word is Un tinto

Yes today I'm teaching how to order a glass of red wine, my favorite
I say "Que tomas?" = "what will you have", you say "Un vaso de tinto" = a glass of red wine.

Can't wait to use this one tonight. We are going for drinks in the city with some people that Vinay works with who are from out of town.

I'll have lots to post tomorrow since it's my shower. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Friday, August 04, 2006

An ode to my Olivia and a Spanish lesson

Today marks 4 weeks in PGN, that's 4 weeks closer to having her in my arms forever. She looks like such a little diva in this picture, which is one of the things I love most about her. That at 7 weeks old she had such a little personality. She didn't share her smile with us right away, but she does give you this look. She brings her eyebrows in towards eachother and stares. What a little attitude, and I love it. I hope I reread this when she's 2 and testing my patience. She was also so sweet, at night when she would fall asleep in my arms she would snuggle up really close to my body, like she wanted to crawl inside. She would also make the quietest cooing sounds. Just a little whisper to let us know she was there, and she would do it in her sleep sometimes. Well there are a million more things I could go on and on.
I finally bought a CD and a book set to learn Spanish. So I told Vinay that everyday we will have a phrase of the day. So I will post it so it really sticks with me.

today's phrase is- De nada = your welcome.
I say "Gracias" you say "De nada"
Sorry It's just the teacher in me

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Today marks the last day I will be stuck in the house waiting for someone.
In about a half hour the insurance adjuster will be here to asses the damage, then I will be free for awhile.
I also realized I need to get out from behind this computer, and start getting ready for liv.
here is a list of things I want to do before she comes home.
1. Learn some Spanish. I did know more than Vinay, (I think he was speaking some sort of French) but we were still struggling.
2. Start lifting some weights and build up my arm muscles. By the end of the day my arms would be shaking from holding Olivia, and she was only 8 pounds then. I am so out of shape, maybe I'll start working out but I doubt it.
3. Finish her scrapbook. I started it, I just need to keep updating it with pictures that they send.
4. Organize the garage, It's too hot for this now but maybe if the heat breaks.
We'll see if I can do these few things in the next few weeks,

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Our Handyman saves the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I am currently sitting here cool as a cucumber. Here's what happened today.

PSE&G came at 7:50 this morning. I had just gotten up and answered the door with one eye open. I showed him the damage in the wall, told him we put flooring down, and he said good and went to go up. I hadn't even started the coffee pot and he was down in the kitchen with his tools. He said that the flooring in the attic was not secure, and that he had to climb over a beam to get to that side of the attic. I just stared dumbfounded, was this a bad dream. He said "sorry miss this is just our policy" "Get some secure flooring and we'll come back". I tried to explain the situation to him, told him the story the days of waiting, the sweating, and worst of all the damage. He said he sympathized but it's company policy. I showed him the door, and had to lay back down. I was scared to call Vinay. I really thought he might have a meltdown. At 8:45 Vinay called I explained what happened, he wanted me to call them back and tell them off. I didn't have the energy. I said our handyman is coming in an hour we'll see what he can do. I mean how many times can we call PSE&G.
So our handyman, Melvin, showed up at 10 located the leak, fixed the fan in the attic, finished the work on the deck all by 12:00pm.
The air conditioner pvc pipe had come loose, all melvin had to do was glue the pipe joint so it was sealed and no more leaks. Days of sweating and them coming back and forth, and the problem could have been fixed in 10min.
But at least it's over, and we can now focus on fixing the room and getting it ready for Liv.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I'm melting I'm melting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes it is hot, we are in the middle of a heatwave and still no air conditioner upstairs. I also have had the downstairs unit at 80 because I'm scared that I'll burn it out. The window unit did work nicely in the bedroom last night, and I got to say, "Told you it would work" to Vinay.
Tomorrow PSE&G comes again. hopefully they can fix the problem. I am trying to add links to other peoples blogs who are in the adoption process. But I can't get it to work. I'll keep trying.