I couldn't let this day go by without a post. On June 20 2006 I held my daughter for the first time. When they placed her in my arms, and she looked up at me with those big alert brown eyes, I knew that I was meant to be her mother. All of my fears and worries about us meeting and my insecurities about being a mother just fell away as I cradled her in my arms. I had no time for self doubt, I had a responsibility to this child. Suddenly my feeling were not so important. What was important, was soaking in every precious moment I had with my new daughter. Of course 5 days wasn't long enough. Even now that she is home, 24 hours a day is not enough for me to spend with my little Liv.
Liv has taught me so much since that first meeting. She has taught me how to be a mother. How to find patience, when I swear I've run out. How to find the joy in playing with just a plain old box. How to be sick together. How to share, yes I had to relearn this one. How it's ok to go off schedule a bit, and to not be so scheduled all of the time. She also taught me how to listen, not just to the words, but to body language. I've learned that some of the best moments in life are spent just cuddling. Liv showed me so many qualities in Vinay that I never even knew were there. Like his endurance of sleep deprivation, and how nurturing he can really be. She shown him a thing or two also. I learned that everything does happen for a reason, even when I can't see that reason at the time. I've defintly learned to not be so controlling. I learned so many things about myself, Vinay, and just life in general. But mostly in this last year I've learned to stop fighting Gods plan and let him take the lead.
Thank you Olivia for all that you've given us, taught us, and have brought to our lives. I could never give you enough kisses to show you how much I love you, but I'll keep trying!!!!!