looked straight ahead scared to death.
This picture came out blury. I'll post a better one later in the week. Olivia was a good girl she was about to cry but she just sucked on her lower lip and had a look of panic on her face.
And this one because we both just passed out and both of us rarely do that outside of my bed and her crib.
Olivia really started crawling this week. Time to put up the safety gates
"All this crawling is hard work! Or maybe it's my cold that is knocking me out!"
Well today marks 4 weeks since we got home.
It feels like she's been here longer.I love this picture of Vinay and Liv because they look so comfortable together. I also must say Vinay has just been incredable with her and seeing him with her, makes me fall even more in love with him.
Well last week I told you how good Liv was eating. Well the cereal was making her bloated so she wasn't drinking her bottel. One of my many mistakes. Liv has also decided that she wants to wake up during the night but not drink a bottel, or go back to sleep.
I am finally realizing how tough being a parent is. I love her so much and I want to do everything right so I have been stressing out. Big time!!!!!!!!!!! Last week was a killer.
Vinay worked late Monday and Tuesday, got home at 10 then Wednesday he had to catch a 5Am train to Baltimore. He didn't get home till 4pm Thursday. I did as best I could without him, but it was hard. By Friday night I was fried. My wonderful, fantastick husband. Let me sleep in the guest room friday night, so I wouldn't hear the monitor, and got up with her all night. Did I mention Liv has been getting up more than once. He is so wonderful.
I have really been enjoying being a full time Mom, but I have my moments, when I think "I don't know what I'm doing? I don't know how I'm going to do this? Or how I will be the Mom she deserves?" The sleep deprevation isn't helping me much either. I know this is all first time mommy stress, and I really didn't think I would stress since she's already 6 months, and we waited so long for her, but here I am. A stressed out crazy lady, who needs a haircut, bad, and is just trying to figure all this stuff out.
And you all thought the drama was over once the adoption was complete.
This cutie is eating like crazy. Cereal that is. Tonight she ate 3 bowls. I started with 2 tablespoons, she gobbled it up so I made another tablespoon. She finished that off, so I made another. Then I said to Vinay she must be thirsty with all that food, so I put some water in a sippy cup. No dice, so I took the top off the cup and put it too her mouth. Guess what she drank. Ok she was licking it up like a cat, but still. Then I started crying, nooooo, she growing up too fast.
Next week it will be 1 month since she's been home. Wow did that go quick. It feels like she's always been here, but still when I hear her babbeling thru the monitor in the morning I can't believe she's home. We are so lucky that she found us, and I am so grateful to the wonderful agency we had.
took her to some of the neighbors to show her off some more.
today I thought I would climb up on my soap box and talk about adoption. In the interview Madonna says that what hurts her the most with all this bad press is that it might discourage other people from adopting. if you did not see the interview I would hope that people would try and read the transcrips from the show. What struck me the most was that Madonna did go thru the steps of a homestuday, an interview with the birthfather in court. During this interview the father stated that he did want his son, whome he put in an orphanage at 2 weeks old, to have a better shot at life. So he did agree to the adoption. Then this man was hounded by the press and countinually asked time and again if he was sure he made the right decision. Of course the press is now twisting his words and saying that he did not want the adoption. This hit home for me. I can't imaging Liv's birthmom going tru this. I can't bear to think that this woman would have to relive probably the most difficult decision of her life.
Do I believe that celebrities get special treatment in adoption, of course, they do in everything. However Adoption is hard anyway you cut it. Not just the paperwork, and the travel, and the not knowing. I never could imagin how someone could love a child that they never met. Or that you could long for a child that you only held for 5 days. But I did. The only way to descibe the feeling is to imagin yourself with a huge gaping hole in your chest that never goes away. Adopting Olivia was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I've beat cancer. But this was 10 times harder. But I can honestly say I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It was the hardest but the best thing I have ever done, and I thank God for giving her to us.
So I would say that if you every even thought about adopting to look deep inside yourself and follow your heart. Their are so many children all over the world who need families, who need someone to love them. The press should be showcasing them and not be worried about just gossip.
But that just my opinion.
This weekend our house was filled with people and Olivia loved every minute of it.
On Friday her Aunt Vaishu, and Uncle Jake came to see her, and she was all smiles.
On Saturday her Bapamom came to see her again.
On Sunday her Uncle John and Aunt Jenene came to visit. They will be having a little friend for Olivia in February, and we can't wait.
Then came to big meeting of the weekend. Olivia and Parker meet for the first time. Olivia loved him. Parker was less than thrilled. He kept wanting to lick her. Then he didn't like it when she cried. He also didn't want anyone to pay any attention to her. He just wanted all the attention. After awhile he did calm down and finally he even snuggled up to her.
Olivia is doing great she is sleeping well, and is generally happy. we are switching her forumla so she is getting some stomach achs, and her burps are starting to sound like Homer Simpson. But we are sticking with it so she can start on cereal next week.
Sometimes I can't believe she is home. Every once in awhile it hits me. Like during her 4am feeding when I see her big dark eyes staring up at me over her bottel. I just want to cry I love her so much. She is truly a blessing and we are so lucky to have her. I will try to post more this week, and especially with Halloween coming up.
Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
