First day of school (yes I know we're a month late)

"Hey it was my first day of school!!!"
A little yogurt drink, and an episode of Diego before school.
Still a sleepy head

Hamming it up outside of school!!!!!

Today was Liv's first day of school. I had started looking into schools in August, but then with my trip, I didn't want to send her as soon as I got back. So we waited. We visited a few, and had a hard time finding one that fit our schedule, did not cost the equivalent of a college tuition, and that was close to home. So the search came to a close and I brought myself to enroll her.

Now to say that Olivia and I are attached is an understatement. From the moment we get up till we go to bed we are always doing things together. If I'm vacuuming, she's pretending to vacuum.

When I'm doing laundry, she's opening and closing the dryer for me. You get the picture.

So separation will be good for both of us. But I knew it was not going to be easy.

We have been practicing with her dolls. One doll is the Mom and the other is the "baby" as Liv calls her. So I was making the Mom leave the baby at school and showing her that the Mommy always comes back. Liv would usually make the baby doll cry while waiting for the Mom. But I tried to reassure her that the mommy always comes back.

On Monday we tested out the theory. We went into school for a little while, and I left the classroom to go sign the rest of the paperwork. I came back after a few minutes and stood at the classroom door. She was sitting down to lunch, and her eyes were all puffy from crying. Then they put a big scoop of carrots in front of her and I saw her little lower lip start to quiver. My heart broke. On the car ride home I cried, she was fine and said she had fun at school.

Today Vinay and I both took her to school, when we pulled up, Liv right away knew, and said "Momma bye", I said yea but it will be ok, your gonna have fun and I tried to talk it up. In the class she would not let go of my hand, and I said "remember, just like with your dolls, Momma goes bye, but she will come back." Liv just looked at me. After a minute she went to go see what some kids were playing with. There are only 6 other kids in the class, so Vinay and I slipped out.

From outside the window I could see that the teacher was consoling her. I felt like the worst mother.

Was I sending her to school for her or for me. Yes she needs it to help build her vocal skills, yes she needs to be with someone other than mommy, and kids her own age. But yesterday when we were in Target, and she had thrown herself on the floor at the checkout, because I would not buy her candy, for a moment I could not wait to use my 2 1/2 hours twice a week to just get things done solo. I know, horrible mother I am!!!!!!!!

I only made it 2 hours before I was back in the parking lot, trying to see inside the classroom. Finally I went in, and there she was sitting chatting to a friend holding a cup of milk, no tears, no puffy eyes, just my sweet Liv. The teacher said she cried for about 15 minutes, then came up to her and said, "Momma and Dad go bye" The teacher said yes but they will be back later. And that was it no more crying, and she enjoyed herself the rest of the time. I was so proud of her I almost gave her a cupcake for lunch.

I drove home knowing that she could do it, that I could do it, and maybe this will all work out ok.

Then I started crying!!!