Monday, June 08, 2009

Different this time

I don't know why but the paperchase seems different this time. It seems like there is so much more. I'm also less focused. Things I should be able to get done in a day, take me a week. Of course I have Liv to distract me, but it's more than that. Am I not diving in because I fear the pain of waiting at the end? Like being somehow detached from this adoption will save my heart from ups and downs of an international adoption.
I guess I now understand when a woman, pregnant for second time, describes the pregnancy as different. Her body is the same, the hormones are the same. It's just the child inside that makes that particular pregnancy different.

3 comments:

Leslie said...

Very well said!!! Im wishing you the very best! hugs

Valerie said...

Ah, yes. You hit the nail on the head. I felt the same way when we started our second adoption. I'm starting to feel like that now just thinking about another one. Just take a deep breath relax.

Alleen said...

I hope you will find peace with it. I can only imagine it would feel differently the 2nd time.