Monday, June 08, 2009

Different this time

I don't know why but the paperchase seems different this time. It seems like there is so much more. I'm also less focused. Things I should be able to get done in a day, take me a week. Of course I have Liv to distract me, but it's more than that. Am I not diving in because I fear the pain of waiting at the end? Like being somehow detached from this adoption will save my heart from ups and downs of an international adoption.
I guess I now understand when a woman, pregnant for second time, describes the pregnancy as different. Her body is the same, the hormones are the same. It's just the child inside that makes that particular pregnancy different.


Leslie said...

Very well said!!! Im wishing you the very best! hugs

Valerie said...

Ah, yes. You hit the nail on the head. I felt the same way when we started our second adoption. I'm starting to feel like that now just thinking about another one. Just take a deep breath relax.

Alleen said...

I hope you will find peace with it. I can only imagine it would feel differently the 2nd time.