I don't know why but the paperchase seems different this time. It seems like there is so much more. I'm also less focused. Things I should be able to get done in a day, take me a week. Of course I have Liv to distract me, but it's more than that. Am I not diving in because I fear the pain of waiting at the end? Like being somehow detached from this adoption will save my heart from ups and downs of an international adoption.
I guess I now understand when a woman, pregnant for second time, describes the pregnancy as different. Her body is the same, the hormones are the same. It's just the child inside that makes that particular pregnancy different.