Tuesday, November 11, 2008

No School for you

I guess school is not for everyone. At least not now.

As I said before Liv started school in October. The first few weeks were ok. She would cry when I dropped her and then stop as soon as I left and she would enjoy school. She would even be excited about going. Then something in her just changed. I don't know if she realized that I was never going to stay at school with her or if she just got even more attached to me and did not want to leave me to go. She was also beginning to be really clingy to the teacher all day.
Then suddenly she would ask me if she was going to school every day and at very random times. When I would say "No school today" she would be ok, but if I asked do you want to go to school, She would start to cry and get upset. Then one day I was with my Aunt and she asked how Olivia was doing with school, Olivia overheard this and got so upset, it took me about a half hour to calm her down. While she gets upset about this she holds on to me real tight and will not let me put her down.
Liv missed school last week because she was sick, then on Monday morning when it was time to get dressed Liv asked me if we were going to school, I knew I couldn't lie to her, so I said yes. She got so upset, crying, wouldn't let me dress her, holding into me. I couldn't even imagine how I was going to get us ready and get her into school. I caved, I tried to get her mind off of it ,and then later when she asked me, I said no school is closed for today.
So I think we have come to the conclusion that Liv might not be ready yet for school. I don't like that she is constantly thinking about going to school. And is so nervous that today she is going to school. Even when I talk about all the good things at school, and how her friends miss her, she still gets upset.
However I feel like a failure. I keep asking myself should I push her to go, am I being too easy, am I doing what is best for her??
That Mommy guilt will get you every time!!!!

Thanks for listening to me vent, now here is what you came for!!
Ahhh Winter is on it's way!!!!
Sad because all our flowers are gone for the winter!!!


Kim said...

Boy - I don't know what to tell you. Luckily for us, Alex likes "school." (ok - daycare, but we call it school) I don't know if it's because he's been going for so long that it's just routine for him or what. But I don't blame you for not wanting to stress her out. It's not worth it when they are 2. :)

Rhonda said...

Hi Nikki,
I have been reading your blog for a while. I think I have commented to you a couple of times.
Anyway, I wanted to send you a comment to tell you not to feel like a failure. You are such a good Mama. Did you ask the teacher if anything has happened at school to upset Olivia? Or did she have any problems with another child. It is so hard to figure out what is going on at such a young age when their verbal skills are minimum. Maybe, the school is just not right for her.
Good luck with everything. Maybe she will be ready in a year or so.

Sharon and Olivia Grace said...

Hi Nikki,
I am sorry you are having such a hard time transitioning Liv into school. I agree with Rhonda, did you talk to the teachers and see what may have changed within the classroom or if there are any specific areas that Liv is having difficulty?

We started our Olivia in daycare at 13 months old. We had our struggles with transitioning her but we worked through them and she has been doing great! Most of the time, once they pryed her off of me she calmed down and was interacting with the others by the time I reached my car in the parking lot. It didn't take long before she was kissing me goodbye at drop off with no tears.

My situation is different though, I work full time so I had to gently work with her to help her adjust and feel safe. It really didn't take too long but there were many mornings that I got in my car and cried. The teachers were a great help during this time. Olivia also did better and better the more her language skills developed. She still has occasions where she does not want to be there and will cling to me and cry, then the teacher asks her to help hand out snack and she forgets about me totally. I love seeing her at the end of the day, running toward me with her huge smile and leaping into my arms with a big hug!! That's the best part of my day!!!

It's a tough thing to see your child afraid or upset. It's hard to say what you should do. I guess you have to weigh the benefits of keeping her in school and working it out or waiting another year. Maybe another school would be an option as well.
Good luck, I feel for you. It is very hard.


Alleen said...

Not sure what advice to give either since Gabriella loves school. She gets upset when I tell her it's not school day.

But yeah, maybe you can talk with the teachers and see if she's been any different during the day? Maybe try one or two more days and see if once you leave she's fine.....

Carrie said...

I am so glad to hear you say that because I chose not to send Savannah to school yet and I see all these other kids going and think that I did something wrong. Here they really don't start until 3 unless it is daycare. I KNOW Savannah is not ready and I want her first experience to be positive. I am looking so carefully at schools to make the right decision so it is positive. I think you are doing the right thing. Not every child is ready at 2 or 2 1/2. My next big decision is to send her in March or April or in September or after the baby comes home.

You have to take cues from your child and also go with your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Go with your Mommy instinct.