Update, and some pics

Just wanted to let everyone know that we are still bottle free in this house. The first night back home was hard. Poor Olivia was just mourning the loss of her bottles. She cried for about a half hour. We almost gave in, but she was all smiles once her and Daddy had an ice pop. She will still ask for a "baba", but then she will answer herself with a "gone".



Here are some pics from last week.

Olivia loves to walk around with a blanket around her like this, that day she added a wand to the outfit

She likes to cuddle her baby and walk around like this.

Pushing around her baby.

I love this giraffe dress, everyone says she looks like Wilma Flinstone in it.

For the fourth we declaired our independence!!!!

Independence from the bottle that is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes yes Liv was still getting a bottle. Around 8:30 every night Liv would ask for a bottle, usually she would;t drink much, it was just a habit!!
I initially started getting rid of the bottles before her 1st birthday, but this child was so bad at eating I felt better know that at the end of the day she was getting some nutrition in the formula. So I said we'll get rid of it at 15 months, well she still was a bad eater. By about 18 months she was a little better but now she really loved that nightly bottle so I said OK at 2 we'll get rid of it. Well 2 came and went and I still did not have the guts to get rid of it.

Finally last week we knew we were staying at Vinay's mom's for the weekend, so I knew this was the perfect opportunity. I would leave the bottles at home. Liv had picked out a new cup earlier in the week, and I got her two other new cups for her to have her formula in. I still feel good about her having formula because we still have days where all she will eat is a cracker.

So on the first night I told Liv, "Sorry Mommy forgot your bottles, but here you can have one of these cups" She complained a little, looked through all the bags for the bottles, but was happy to have the cups. She has been using her special cup ever since. The bottles at home are already hidden, so when we go home, guess what someone stole the bottles for their babies.

Finally we are free from the bottle!!!! Free at last!!!! Free at last!!!!

The # 2 Question!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well my blogger friend Angel at http://www.thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com/ posted today about getting real. I am the type of person who sugar coats everything, so for me getting real is hard, especially when it comes to my personal life. But here it goes anyway, this is what I am really dealing with right now.

Recently the question of adopting #2 has come up in a few conversations I've had with different people. Usually when people ask, I go into my spiel about Guatemala adoptions being closed and how we're not sure what we are going to do next. The truth is I'm the one that doesn't know what I'm doing about it. Vinay would be knee deep in another adoption, if it were up to him.
The truth is I really think I would be happy with only one child. I'm an only child so it feels natural for me to parent only one. I have such a strong bond with my Mom, and I feel that same bond between me and Olivia.

In fact every reason I have for not adopting again is a selfish reason. So here are the reasons

- Vinay travels allot, so allot of the time I am parenting by myself. I'm fine with this most of the time because Liv is a fairly easy child. I take her everywhere with me and we are rarely just sitting around the house. Another child would change all that for me. It's not as easy to pick up and go when you have two kids.

- I'm selfish with my sleep. It's no secret I like my sleep. I need at least 8-9 hours of sleep, some because of medical conditions, When Liv first came home I went for my check up at Sloan Kettering, and my Dr looked at me and said I had to try to take a nap everyday, he even wrote it on a prescription. But mostly I need sleep for me mentally. I can't function, I just fall apart. I am miserable and then I start obsessing about my sleep deprivation. I am so lucky that My Liv is an excellent sleeper, 10 hours a night, and a two hour nap a day. But two kids means that sleep is harder to come by. What if I my next child is a morning person, up by 6am, no naps, and is going going going till 9 every night.

-I've been thinking about going back to work. This all depends on how Liv does with pre-school in the fall. But lately I've been feeling like I might need some type of outside outlet. Right now Liv is not ready to go full day, everyday, but maybe just part time three days a week. I know that if we do have another child I would want to be home for them at least two years, since that is what i gave Liv.

-I am not a baby person. Yes I loved having Liv as young as she was at home. I know how lucky I was to have it. I did love the snuggles, and the bottles, and the little clothes. But I love this stage so much more!!! I love the independence and the communication, and being able to interact fully. Even when I hear that newborn cry in a store, I get a pit in my stomach, because It was so hard for me to have Liv cry as an infant and not know why she was crying.

So while I'm being honest I should also tell you the reasons why I would want another child.

-Vinay. Vinay grew up with two sisters, he is extremely close with his family. His younger sister and him talk at least once a week. He understands the sibling bond, and he feels it is so important to growing up. Also Vinay wants a boy so badly. When we first started Olivia's adoption we requested a girl, on the understanding that our second child would be a boy. When we go out to eat with my in-laws, it's me, Liv, Vinay's Sister, Vinay's Mom, and Vinay's Grandmother. All women and poor Vinay the only guy. It's like eating out with the cast of "The View" for him. Another reason is that Vinay has a great bond with Olivia, but I know he's longing for that father-son bond that he had with his father. How can I keep that from him?Vinay gave up his chance for biological children for me, can I make him give this up too?

-Olivia. Like every parent we want to give Olivia the best we possibly can. That should include a sibling. Someone to grow up with, to have their own private jokes, to lean on, to share secrets, and complain about their parents. Olivia deserves this. If Olivia had grown up in Guatemala she would have had 1 brother and 3 sisters. How can I deprive her of a sibling, someone to have that everlasting bond with when her parents are gone.

These are the things that have been keeping me up at night. It's hard for me to actually see all this on paper let alone post this. I look so selfish and I do fear what people will think of me, but maybe it's good for me to really take this hard look at myself.
Thanks Angel for asking us to do this, although I might have to go back to my boring sugar coated posts, this one makes me not like myself very much.

My sad attempt at photography

I am always so bad at taking pictures, but I take them anyway. So I don't know what made me think that I could take some wonderful professional pictures this week. At the park by our houose they have a beautiful rose garden. I had read in the paper that the roses were in full bloom, so tried to do Liv's hair all nice and put her in some halfway decent clothes, she still prefers PJ's, and we headed out at sunset.
Well once we got there half the roses were dead, and Olivia would not cooperate.
Here's what I came up with.

I like the shadows in this picture.

Stopping to smell the roses.

The only picture of her looking at the camera

One of the few roses not dead from all the heat.

And so it begins

We have been toying with the idea of potty training since May,She gone on the big potty a few times with success, but last week we finally got her potty and started serious training. I have to admit Liv was very excited at first to have her own potty. I've read a few books on potty training, and I think we are ready to go. Just wondering if anyone can offer up advice from the trenches?





I know Miss Liv will be very mad one day that I posted this picture!!!














Cuddled up after a bath!!!!

A letter to Liv

Dear Olivia,
Exactly two years ago today I held you in my arms for the very first time. Oh how you looked up at me with those huge brown eyes. You just stared at me and you melted my heart. At that moment you made me a mother. I had no idea what you had in store for us as a family, all I could do was watch you. I watched you sleep, watched you drink a bottle. You could finish a bottle in 4 minutes, no burp brakes, just chugging, and then you were full and happy. It took you 4 whole days to give me a smile. I was pretending to bite your toes, and there it was, your little gift to us, a crooked little smile. How is wished those 5 days would never end, but they did, and I had to hand you back. The hardest thing I ever had to do. Daddy was so strong he didn't cry, but as soon as you were out of sight, I cried harder than I ever have before. All your Daddy kept saying was, "She'll be home soon".
And he was right 4 months later we were on our way back to pick you up. Those 4 months seemed like an eternity at the time, now I see how really short a wait that was.
Now hear we are 2 years later, and I don't remember what life was like without you. I admire how you navigate thru your toddler world. You are so giving to other children, even now that you are in the "It's mine" stage. You are so caring, you point out every baby that you hear cry until I say "His mommy's there she will help him". You try so hard to be just like mommy and daddy. You want to do everything that we do. You have an amazing memory. Everyday you surprise us with all the things you remember. That is why I am writing you this letter my sweet Liv, so that I can always remember that first day when we started this journey together. How happy you made us, and how you changed our lives forever.

Love Always and Forever,
Your Mommy

Sometimes you just need good news!!

With the state of the world today, it's easy to just get caught up in all the bad news. Isn't that all that is reported anyway. Well something happened yesterday that made me remember the good.

A baby was born yesterday, yes babies are born everyday, but this baby was extra special. Our friends Dennis and Sara have prayed and longed for this baby for a very very long time. I wish I could tell their story but it is not mine to tell. I can tell you that God had such a hand in this baby, and it is so evident when you look at him.

Liv and I had the honor of going to the hospital today and visiting with
baby John and momma Sara. He is just too precious. The calm
and peace that was in the room was so unlike our scatter brain Sara,
and I say that with all love Sara. But they say a baby changes you and I
definitely saw that in Sara. I could not think of two more deserving
people to be parents.
Congratulations Dennis and Sara!!!!
We all couldn't be happier for you!!!!














Baby John 6pounds 9ounces
Just look at all that hair!!!

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day Daddy
Love Olivia

Everything but the kitchen sink frappuccino

Olivia loves frappuccino's from Starbucks, it is one of the few things she will eat, yes she is still a picky eater, although it has gotten better. So the other morning instead of giving her the same old thing, drinkable yogurt spiked with baby food fruit, sometimes that's the only way I can get fruit in her. I made my own and Miss Liv could not get enough of it. I think I might make it once a week so she doesn't get board with it.

Sipping while watching Sesame Street

Not too much of a mess making it.

The trick it to put it in a Starbucks cup!!!!


My ingredients
1 bottle of drinkable yogurt, any flavor, I used strawberry.
1 cup of ice
1 container of baby food, I use apples and blueberries.
1 container of yogurt with added fiber, this is only used if someone is blocked up.
2 tablespoons of applesauce
2 tablespoons of baby oatmeal cereal, makes it nice and thick, and adds substance.
dash of milk if it looks to thick.

Blend all together until ice is crushed!!!
Makes 2 servings, one for the morning, and freeze another cup for afternoon snack.

Heavy hearted

A few days ago I came across this blog http://casadesion.blogspot.com/
It is by a woman who runs an orphanage in Guatemala. I haven't heard too too much about what is happening to the now unadoptable children, but this woman's blog does tell some of what is going on.


An excerpt from May 26
Sat. a gringo man, who works with handicapped children, came by our house to speak with us. He said he comes across children all the time who are handicapped ; don't have parents who can deal with it and need a place to go. Some are at death's door from malnourishment. There is a big orphanage that used to take the kids, but they have reported they can take no more until someone dies. Plus even tho this orphanage is very clean and the kids are well fed, they are left in cribs for 22 hours a day.

Today, the Pensa Libre--the big newspaper for the country--had a one page article on how the children are being abandoned and there is no where for them to go. With adoptions ended many orphanages are closing and are refusing to take the children. It is causing major problems in the cities. Especially no one wants the newborns. They, btw, are my favorites.

I am willing to take any and all of these kids, but need money and supplies and volunteers.It breaks my heart to see the pictures in the paper of the firefighters holding the infants and toddlers that no one wants. Or to think about the handicapped kids in their cribs 22 hours a day or starving to death in a hammock behind their family's shack. My heart is so sorrowful as I write this because I know I am just one person who can only do so much.


An excerpt from Feb 16
We have heard that there are many abandoned babies in the hospitals now that adoptions have closed down in Guatemala. We verified this from several sources. Our social worker will be talking with some of the hospital social workers on Mon. The orphanages that used to take them won't any more as they can not make money off adoption. We have also heard stories that some of the smaller orphanages are turning their kids into the government as they can not afford to keep going.


Gee Hillary Clinton, think of what 212 Million Dollars could have done for these children, instead of waisting it on a bid for the democratic nomination, which you knew you were going to loose anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firecracker

Miss Liv has always had a bit of a temper, but no one warned me that from the exact moment she turned two, that it would get sooooooo much worse. What happened do all kids recieve some type of memo on their second birthday.

Attention two year old toddler:

Your Mother knows nothing, you no longer need to listen to her. You do things your way now. If they try to negotiate with you, do one of 2 things. Scream and throw your yourself on the floor, or completely ignore them. From now on when they put you in time out just laugh and get up. Remember you are in charge now!!!!

PS you will receive this notice again as a reminder on your thirteenth birthday.

Here is my little firecracker ignoring me asking her to help pick up her toys!!!
Please tell me the three's are easier!!!

How much does it cost to help?

As we all know the American economy is in a slump, to put it nicely. On every news station we hear over and over how much gas is, how retail sales are down, unemployment is up. You basically have to live under a rock to not know we are in a recession. But yet as I look around I still see so much excess in our country. I still had to wait in a long line for my decaf vanilla latte. I could not find a parking spot at the mall the other day, so somebody must be shopping.

Yes our economy is bad however, how much are we really doing without. As people complain about the cost of everything from fuel to food, I still feel that we, as a country, have so much to give. And so much more than other poor countries.
So here is a list of ways to help for under 25 dollars. That's it the cost of 2 movie tickets and a soda and popcorn, can help those less fortunate than us.

1) Give someone a Kiva Gift Certificate.
http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=gift&action=giftPromotion
Great for teachers gifts, graduation gifts, or even Father's Day. This is a Micro lending website that helps people in impoverished countries to achieve economic Independence.

2) Buy 2 bags of coffee from http://www.saintscoffee.com/products.html
This can make another great gift, or just enjoy it yourself at home and save gas not having to drive to get a coffee. Saints Coffee gives 1/3 of it's net profits to organizations that improve the life of orphans.

3) Buy a shirt from http://www.tinyrockstar.com/
Some really cool designs, buy one for your kids or for a birthday gift.
For every shirt you buy they will donate enough to feed an orphan for a month.

4) Bid on an item from this cool ebay seller http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcraftforchina
100% of the money goes to supporting orphans in China.
The jewelery on here is really nice and all handmade.

5) Donate to http://www.malarianomore.org/
Donate a bed net for 10 dollars. You can donate in someones name and send them an e card.
This was featured on American Idol.

If anyone has any other ideas please chime in.

On the Road, fun in the sun, and lots of pictures

Vinay has been traveling allot lately, just about every week. So Liv and I have been spending time at my Mom's. Then for memorial weekend we were down the shore. We are finally home and it is nice to not be living out of a suitcase. I feel like we have been on the run for weeks now. Luckily Vinay's travel schedule should slow down for the summer!!!
Here are some pictures from Memorial weekend at the Jersey shore.



Our Friends Vic and Tara, and their kids Ava and Luca spent the weekend with us, and of course we had to sing happy birthday to Liv one more time.
"Mommy can't we celebrate my birthday into June?"

Ready for the beach. Liv hates wearing a bathing suit, it was a fight to get one on her.
Bathing beauty
Dancing on the beach, as her Mommy and Daddy ate dinner. Just give this girl sand and she is happy for at least an hour.
Ava and Liv dancing on the deck.
Love the girls in their hats

Ava, Liv, and Tyler waiting to go on rides at the boardwalk.
Liv loves all rides especially the carousel.
Daddy took her on the Dumbo ride
Then we had ice cream.
This is Liv doing her new thing in this picture. She hold up her one finger and then she does the sign for more. Here she is asking for one more ice cream cone.

Grandparents

Olivia has such a special relationship with Vinay's Grandma and My Grandfather. She will always go right to them and pay attention to them.


Bappamam and Liv.
Pop and Liv on Liv's birthday. I have to say that my Grandfather has made a full recovery from his hip surgery. He is back to his old self. Although he will never be as independant as he was he is still doing things on his own, and I am so proud of how he recovered. Thank you to everyone who prayed for him. I know it was a big help in his recovery!!

Well we are off to the beach for the long weekend. Happy Memorial Day everyone.
Bring on Summer!!!!!!!!!

Random pictures

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the last 2 weeks.

I love this picture from Liv's birthday. Her and Nicholas were having so much fun in her new playhouse. Out of all of Liv's playmates, and she does have so many friends, there is just such a bond between her and Nicholas. They can play for hours together and they rarely fight. Luckily Nicholas' Mom is also my best friend, so Liv gets to see Nicholas at least once a week.
Cool shades, and not ready to give up the binky yet. Liv only gets a binky for her nap and for car rides. So I guess when she stops taking naps she'll give it up. As for in the car I might just have to give in and set the DVD up for her to give up that binky!!!
I love this picture for 2 reasons. 1 because My Mom's neighbor's dog, Winston is in the picture and every time Liv is playing in the backyard at her Grammy's, Winston comes over and Liv just loves to play with him. And 2 because look at Liv's belly sticking out. You would never guess that she is barely 23 pounds. She always looks so tiny in pictures, it's nice to see a picture of her with a little meat on her bones!!!

Two years ago...

Two years ago today I laid eyes on this precious little girl and our lives were forever changed. Even at 11 days old she had those soulfull eyes that could show you all her emotions.

Here is what I wrote on May 16,2006

She's here, My baby is here,I waited till about2 for the info.

Before we could accept the baby we had to agree to some wacky rules our attorney goes by. We had to agree that we would not meet her foster mother. The lawyer is very protective of her foster mom's and tries to protect them. We will however get to meet with a coordinator who will know all about our baby. We agreed, and then we waited.

I went to my Mom's to wait since I couldn't stand it anymore. I told work I'll be in when I'm in. At about 2pm the agency called and told me the lawers name, the name of the foster mom, and yes the baby's name, Lucille Miranda Gomez. My mom started to cry. I was on information overload taking down notes and trying to contain my excitment. I told her just to email me the info and I would call her back with questions.

I quickly opened the file and there she was my beautiful baby girl. I started to cry. She was just the sweetest baby I'd ever seen. Yes she was my baby, I knew it. Actually I think she does sort of look like vinay. I called Vinay he was driving back from a meeting. I forwarded the file and told him to call me as soon as he got it. His first words, "Wow she's really cute" My husband the poet.
I had to go to work at least for a little while.I also had so much to do, call the DR and give him the info, Get our funds together to send the check, and have 1 more paper to fill out.
I was flying, we both couldn't sleep that night, and I can't stop looking at her picture.

Details

Some people have asked me about the details of my trip. And since my Aunts passport just came in this week I can finally buy my tickets to Guatemala.

I am going with a Ministry called "What Matters Most Ministry and Missions" to the orphanage Casa Angelina. The orphanage was started by Ivan Tait, and his goal is to put 1 million people in touch with 1 million orphans. You can find more information at
http://www.whatmattersmm.org/


The mission trip runs from August 24-30 and the orphanage is about an hour away from Antigua. While there I will be staying at a hotel in Antigua.

There is still room on this trip and if anyone is interested please email me or leave a comment, I'd love to have some blogger buddies join me.

I am also brushing up on my Spanish again so I might go back to my Spanish word of the day posts. I haven't decided yet.

Buenes Tardes Amigos!!!

For Mother's Day I got Poop!!!

That's right my Liv pooped on the potty. Lately Liv has been obsessed with pottys. People peeing in commercials, dogs peeing, the toilets themselves, even making her dolls go potty. She will always tell me if she is peeing or pooping by making a "sssssss" sound, the sound of someone peeing. A few time she told me and then I put her on the potty, but nothing. Well finally she got that look in her eye, like she was about to push one out, and I asked her if she wanted to go on the potty, so I quickly ripped off her pants and diaper and put her up on the toilet. Quickly she wanted to get off so I figured oh well nothing again, but there it was a perfect little turd!!!! I started screaming and yelling, dancing and jumping and she celebrated right along with me naked butt and all.

So I great a great present this Mother's day, a poop on the potty. Vinay also got me beautiful flowers, thanks honey!!!!

Here are the two most wonderful Mother's I know, Vinay's Mom and my Mom. We love you both sooooo much. Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I also would like to wish all my fellow blogger Mom's a very happy Mother's Day!! Hope everyone enjoyed their day!!!!

The trip that almost wasn't

I haven't talked much about my mission trip because things were up in the air. When my Aunt told my Uncle that she wanted to go with me, he initialy told her it was too dangerous. Now has my Uncle ever been to Guatemala? No. Has my Uncle ever been out of the United States? No. So his thoughts on a mission trip were completely without any real facts. He only knew that going to a poor country could be dangerous. But then again we live right outside of New York City which is definitely dangerous and we go there all the time.



So when we thought that my Aunt would not be going with me, Vinay didn't think I should go alone. To be honest I was a little nervous to go alone but, I would have still gone. I was determined to go. So after some long talks with my Aunt and my Uncle, he finally agreed that it was ok to go. And that going with a mission group was safe.

To be honest I feel that I will be perfectly safe. I will be staying in Antigua and the orphanage is about an hour away.

I'm starting to get really excited about going. The more things come together the more I feel that this is what I'm suppose to be doing.

I was also happy that I could share this experience through a great new website.
http://www.redletterscampaign.com/

This organization is the doing of some great people including my blogger friend Angel.
It's a great place for people who want to do something to end extreme poverty, but don't know where to begin. If this website had been up months ago, I would have had a much easier time finding a mission trip to go on.

Exciting things to come

Well I finally got a makeover for my blog!!! So long overdue!!

Also some very exciting things going on with my Mission Trip.


I promise to fill everyone in later so stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Olivia

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy Birthday to my sweet little girl. Words can not describe how much she means to us so I hope she can one day watch this video and know how much I love her!!!